


Just A Spark

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Secret Crush, Smoshblr Secret Santa, this is so damn soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:13:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21675049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shayne was happy to be going back to camp, he loved everything about it. The lake, the smell of pine everywhere he walked, and the campfires he shared with his friends. He was even happier to be going back for his first year as a counselor. But a thought that had been nagging him from the back of his mind for years came rushing forward at full force the second he pulled Damien’s name out of the bag for his ‘secret buddy.’ Can he make it through the best summer of his life without messing up his relationship with his best friend, or will the summer turn to ash in his hands?a gift for DeadLoaf. love, your smoshblr secret santa :)inspired by casstheycryptid's prompt bundles (#1)
Relationships: Damien Haas/Shayne Topp
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	Just A Spark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DeadLoaf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadLoaf/gifts).



The music from the car’s speakers was dull in Shayne’s ears as he drove down the dirt road. It was something he didn’t recognize, pop garbage he didn’t care to get into. Boze had always called him a hipster for his attitude towards music, but he could always be called worse. Besides, he was thinking of other things at the moment, things that were much more pertinent than what Demi Lovato did last summer.

He had never been nervous about going to camp, not even for his first summer. But this year was different, and he wasn’t sure if it was in a good way. He was going as a counselor now, somebody who took care of the kids that he used to be in the shoes of. To say he was anxious would be an understatement.

It wasn’t that he was worried about the kids. He knew what he was doing, he had been one of the best CITs in the program. He was confident in working with his fellow counselors and being there for the kids, he had spent many nights making sure he knew every CPR procedure and all of the methods to effectively communicate with co-workers. His mom had joked that he put more work into being a counselor than he had into his college applications, which wasn’t all that inaccurate. He loved going to camp, it was like a second home to him. But now there was a twisting feeling in his gut that he just couldn’t shake as he pulled into the dirt parking lot he had been in so many times before. 

He saw him immediately. It wasn’t hard to notice him normally, but he had grown another few inches in the year since Shayne last saw him. He was definitely taller than him now. He was helping a family with their kids’ bags, smiling and joking with the parents while simultaneously making an outstanding impression on the kids. That’s how he had always been, ever since they were young.

They met six years ago when he was eleven and Shayne was ten. It was both their first time at camp, and they had latched onto each other for dear life throughout the whole summer. And the summer after that. And the summer after that.

He had become Shayne’s best friend over the course of only a few months. He remembered clinging to him and sobbing that August as his parents tried to drag him away. He hadn’t wanted to go then, or any of the summers after that, but now he would give anything not to have to be sitting in his mom’s old car staring at the boy he fell in love with.

He remembered when he realized like it had happened yesterday. It was his third summer at the camp; Shayne was fourteen, he was fifteen. They had snuck out of their cabin to swim in the lake at night, when there was nobody to tell them that they were going too far out or they were playing too rough. They had raced to the beach and jumped in as quietly as possible, having the time of their lives, drowning in teenage rebellion.

They ended up sitting on the dock, one towel shared between their shoulders. Their arms were wrapped around each other’s backs and their feet skimmed the water below. The only light came from the moon above them and the distant windows of the mess hall that felt so far away from where they were. Everything felt so right at that moment, and he knew that it wasn’t because what they were doing felt like it was out of a movie. Everything about  _ him _ was so right. His hair plastered to his forehead, the smile that held so much light behind it. The laugh that could break through any wall Shayne tried to build up when he felt down. It was all he needed and more. 

But he couldn’t say anything to him, because Shayne lived in Virginia and he lived in Georgia. The only time they saw each other was at camp, and could they really make a relationship like that work? He had doubted so much that he locked those feelings away through all the jokes, the tears, the week-long girlfriends and almost boyfriends. Through the first kiss stories he wished were with him, his first time drinking beer and having to hold himself back from calling him. Through everything up until now.

Shayne turned the car off and took a breath, ripping his eyes away from him and popping open the trunk. He shouldered his 

bags and made his way to the pavilion where the bags were organized and sent off to the cabins.

“Shayne?” A familiar voice called. He turned to see a flash of grey hair before being pulled into a tight hug. The smell of smoke was a clear indication of who the hugger was, and he smiled into his shoulder.

“Wes! So good to see you.” He said as he resurfaced. His friend smiled down at him一jeez, was he really that short? 一 and reached for one of the bags hanging off his shoulder.

“Glad to see that you’re back, and as a counselor no less! I’m the boy’s cabin director this year, so I’m basically your boss. Better watch your back, Topp.”

Shayne smiled. He remembered Wes when he was his age now as his counselor and laughed at the thought. He had been one of the first campers Wes had ever had, and he was in no way pleasant to supervise. He seriously questioned how he became a counselor after all the trouble he had caused as a camper, but he was just happy he was here at all. Aside from the elephant in the room.

“So, where’s your partner in crime? I’m surprised you guys haven’t already pulled a prank on me yet.”

Shayne stole a quick glance to where he was, wiping off the sweat from his brow. He always hated the heat, said he thrived in freezing temperatures. He turned his head and briefly met Shayne’s eyes before he whipped his head back towards Wes.

“He was helping someone. We’ll get you later though, I’ll make sure of that.” He flashed a fake smile to Wes, but he easily believed it. He had been believing the lies he had told him for years, and he sure wasn’t going to stop now.

“Looking forward to it.” Wes deadpanned. “Here, I’ll take those. Go check in with the office, they’ll give you everything you need.”

Shayne passed the bags to Wes, who held them all with ease. “Thanks, man. See ya later.”

He turned and began following the path to the office, an old blue building with peeling siding and ivy growing along the walls. The porch groaned under Shayne’s sneakers as he crossed to the door, a soft bell ringing as he stepped inside. Boze leaned against the desk on her hand, listening to Sarah talk about something he didn’t care to pay attention to. The bell above the door jingled lightly, drawing the girls’ attention away from their conversation.

Boze’s face lit up in a golden smile. “Hi Shayne!” Before he could even respond, he felt arms tightly wrapped around his torso.

“Hey Boze, good to see you too.” He couldn’t help but smile. He nodded hello to Sarah while Boze continued to squeeze him against her, finally releasing with a happy sigh.

“Damn, you’ve gotten even taller since last summer.” She noticed, measuring the distance between their heights with her hands. “That’s not fair, we were the same height when we first met.”

Shayne laughed at the pout on her face. “That’s because we were twelve, Boze. A lot changes over five years.”

Boze rolled her eyes. “I  _ know _ , but that doesn’t mean I like it.” Shayne shook his head and smiled. He took a step towards the desk as Sarah pilfered through the stacks of paper on her desk. 

“Oh! Here you are. You’re in cabin 12 this session with… David! You remember him, right?”

“Oh yeah,” Shayne nodded. “I couldn’t forget.” David was a total wildcard when it came to being a counselor. He was always great with the kids, but his eccentric personality and tendency to light things on fire instead of disposing of them properly were interesting quirks, to say the least.

“Remember, the opening campfire is tonight and dinner is at six. See you later!” Sarah smiled as Shayne waved goodbye to her and Boze, beginning the trek up the hill to the cabins ahead.

The small wooden buildings were nestled beneath towering pine trees that were older than the country itself. A winding gravel road led up to the semi-circle of boy’s cabins, diverting off to the left towards the lake and the girl’s cabins. Clusters of families were walking along the path, and Shayne nodded to them as he jogged past to get to his cabin.

He leaped up the short set of stairs and into the cabin, inhaling the scent of cleaning agent and wood that always reminded him of check-in day. There were no backpacks on the bunk beds yet, which was a good sign for him. He didn’t want to be the counselor who was late meeting his own campers.

“Shayne Topp, is that you?” A strikingly familiar voice called. David appeared from behind the wooden divider for the counselor’s area of the cabin, his smile almost as wide as his eyes. He hadn’t changed much since the last time Shayne had seen him. He had that same easy smile and athletic built, but his once-brown hair was bleached blonde, the hints of roots peeking out.

“It’s me.” He said. David was already wearing the camp staff shirt, his nametag pinned right above his heart. Shayne noticed a reflective fire emoji sticker next to his name, and smiled at the man.

“I almost didn’t believe it when I found out we were co’s. It’s crazy dude! You were my camper two years ago and looked at you now!” He gestured to Shayne. “We’re gonna be watching over these maniacs together!”

David turned to grab something from behind the divider, but continued speaking. 

“Do you have your shirt and your nametag? Ian will have our heads if you don’t get those on before the kids come.”

“Crap, yeah.” Shayne dropped the bag hanging off his shoulder to the ground, grabbing the shirt and nametag and quickly pulling them on. David pulled out a chalkboard sign from behind the divider, proudly showing it off to Shayne.

“What do you think?”

Shayne looked at the board,  _ Cabin 12 _ painted in bold white letters at the top. Underneath were Shayne and David’s names outlined in flames, with the names of all their campers written on doodles of logs below theirs. Shayne knew David wasn’t an artist, but he had to admit that the board looked really good.

“That looks awesome man.” Shayne smiled. David beamed.

“Sick, I’ll hang it up outside.” He disappeared out the door for a moment, and Shayne tossed his stuff onto the top bunk of the counselor’s beds, making a mental note to unpack after the kids had gone to bed.

David returned not a second later, smoothing his shirt and his hair quickly. “I see some kids who look about the right age coming this way, you ready?”

Shayne nodded. “I was born ready.”

“That’s the spirit!” David clapped him on the back with a laugh, propping open the door for the campers to enter.

* * *

“Good evening Camp Blue Pine!” Ian, Matt, and Sarah shouted from in front of the firepit.

“Good evening Ian, Matt, and Sarah!” Was shouted back by the campers and counselors in a disorganized cacophony of sound that made Shayne smile brightly.

Ian stepped forward as the crowd quieted, framed by the oranges and pinks of the sunset over the lake to his back.

“If you don’t already know, my name is Ian and I’m the camp director here at Blue Pine. I’m so happy to see so many familiar faces, and even happier to see new ones. I hope your session here is great, and we’ll check in with you at the closing campfire at the end of the session.”

“But for now,” Matt stepped forward. “We’re gonna kick off our opening campfire ceremony!” A cheer erupted from the crowd, the counselors the loudest of the bunch.

The campfire was one of Shayne’s favorite things about camp. He loved the skits that the counselors set up, the songs that the whole camp learned and sang together. He beamed when he saw his campers singing and laughing along with the rest of camp, especially since so many of them were first-time campers. 

“And now, all the way from Cabin 6 and Cabin 14… Boze and Damien!” Sarah announced, prompting the two cabins mentioned to scream loudly for their counselors.

Shayne couldn’t help but smile as Damien and Boze set up one of his favorite skits, the entire crowd laughing as Boze repeatedly mimicked losing her money to a cheating shoot-out game, played by Damien.

Once they finished, the camp roared with applause. Damien and Boze took a dramatic bow together, smiling wide at the crowd. Shayne caught Damien’s eye for just a second, and Damien’s smile grew even brighter. Shayne was grateful for the dimness of the night, because he could feel his cheeks growing pink with heat.

The sun fell far below the lake and the line of distant pine trees, the once roaring fire at the center of the amphitheater turning to a pile of ash and coals as the final song came to a close. Ian, Matt, and Sarah returned to centerstage, addressing the waiting crowd.

“Wow, that was an amazing opening campfire, one of the best we’ve had in a while. Give yourselves a round of applause!” Ian started to clap, the rest of the camp joining in. The applause faded out and Sarah stepped forward to speak.

“You guys are all dismissed. Get yourselves ready for bed, we’ll be up bright and early for breakfast at seven!” There were a few groans from the older campers, but Sarah ignored them, or at least she didn’t seem to notice.

“And counselors, remember one of you needs come to the mess hall for a quick meeting. Goodnight!” 

Shayne and David gathered their campers into a group and began to march back towards the cabin, the kids mimicking some of the skits performed and humming the songs. David fell in line with Shayne behind the mass of campers.

“Hey dude,” David started. “I’ve been to this meeting thing every year for the past three years, do you wanna go? You don’t have to, but I’m tired and I want to get the kids ready for bed. When you get back, we can have the cabin chat and get them to sleep, if that’s cool.”

“No, yeah, that’s cool. I’ll go. You do your thing, I’ll be as quick as I can.” Shayne quickly turned on his heel to head back towards the mess hall, running into a few counselors he recognized from years past.

The mess hall glowed with soft yellow light, pine paneling covered the walls and ceilings. Pictures and paintings of the camp and surrounding landscape decorated the walls, a massive banner with the camp’s logo, three white pine trees on a navy blue background, hung above the kitchen window.

A decent crowd of counselors was already there, scattered among three tables that had their chairs pulled out for the occasion. Ian, Sarah, and Matt stood at the front of the hall each holding a camp backpack. Shayne slid into a seat next to Boze, who grinned at him before turning her attention to the directors.

“Okay everybody, campfire was awesome. Thank you to everyone who performed skits and songs, you guys did an amazing job.” Ian said. 

“This is gonna be quick and hopefully painless,” Matt said, which granted a few laughs from the crowd. “But you never know what could happen. You guys are going to pick you and your co’s secret buddies!” A few whoops came from the older counselors, and Shayne held his breath in excitement. 

He’d been looking forward to the secret buddy game since he was a CIT. His previous counselors always had so much fun getting gifts for their buddies, often utilizing their campers to create one of a kind mementos that were adored by everybody who got them. Shayne was eager to see who he picked, his leg bouncing under the table from his energy.

“Make sure you pick  _ your _ secret buddy first, then your co’s. Don’t look at your co’s buddy, either, because you don’t want to accidentally spoil it for them.” Sarah chimed in. 

The directors made their way to the tables, Matt stopping in front of Shayne and holding out the pack. Shayne shuffled the papers around before wrapping his fingers around one and triumphantly pulling it out. He held it tight as he reached in with his other hand and pulled one for David, pocketing it to give to him later. Matt moved on to the rest of the counselors as Shayne unfolded the paper. His heart nearly stopped when he read the name, printed in neat, blue ink that could only have been Sarah’s handwriting.  _ Damien Haas. _

Shit. He hadn’t even thought about what would happen if he picked Damien’s name. He tried to hide his shock with a devilish smile. 

“I swear to God, if you got Wes and you're gonna bully him the whole summer, I’ll take that damn paper right the hell away from you.” Boze shook her head. Shayne smiled at her smugly.

“I can’t tell you, Boze, it’s a  _ secret. _ ”

Boze rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Wes has suffered ‘cause of you and Devilman Haas for three years straight, just let the man have some peace.”

Shayne placed his hand on his chin, mimicking the “Thinker” pose. “I’ll think about it.” He paused, watching Boze narrow her eyes at him. “Okay, I’ve thought about it. It’s going to be a fourth year.”

“Oh con-flabbit.” Boze muttered. Shayne smiled, getting up with the rest of the counselors and stacking their chairs to leave for the night.

“Remember to read over your schedules! Classes start tomorrow at 8:30!” Sarah yelled a reminder to the dispersing counselors.

Shayne was excited about his classes, but he couldn't shake the anxiety that bubbled in his chest as he thought about Damien being his secret buddy. This could go very south, very fast.

* * *

It was barely a day before he approached Shayne. It was during the one-hour free period the camp had before dinner, as Shayne was putting away some of the sports equipment left out after his classes. He knew when he signed up to work in the sports area he would have a lot of fun, and that had already been proven throughout the day. First thing, he organized a basketball game with some of the older campers, the next period he taught the youngest campers about volleyball. He continued to switch between the different activities as the varying age groups arrived, and each new period he was more excited than the last. 

He had just closed the equipment shed when he heard soft footsteps on the grass behind him. “Hey.”

He turned, trying to ignore the fact that his heart was starting to beat faster. Damien was sweating from the summer heat, some of his curls partially stuck to his forehead. His cheeks were tinged pink and there wasn’t a part of him speckled with a splotch of paint, a given considering he was working in the creative arts building across camp.

“Hey.” Shayne said, trying his best not to stare at his friend. He had definitely gotten taller, and based on the definition in his arms, he had been working out as well.  _ Don’t stare at his arms, don’t stare at his arms, don’t- _

“I’ve barely seen you since I got here! How’ve ya been, buddy?” Damien opened his arms for a hug and Shayne returned the action. The contact was brief, but Shayne could feel his warmth like a blast furnace against his chest. Damien really didn’t do well in hot climates.

“Good, good. Having fun, doing the sports stuff.” Shayne said as he pulled away. Damien cracked a smile at the statement.

“Looks like it. I saw like thirty kids chasing you around during my free period.” His smile grew even wider. “You’re really great with them.”

Shayne hoped the flush on his face looked like sweat from running around. “Yeah, those nine-year-olds really like to chase people.”

Damien nodded, laughing. He looked back towards the lake, which was crowded with campers and staff alike. 

“Hey,” He said, turning back to face Shayne. “We should catch up. I haven’t seen you in like, a year.” 

Shayne couldn’t help the smile forming on his face. “Yeah, definitely.” Damien started walking toward the lake, Shayne following closely behind. They fell in line together, their feet in sync. It felt like no time had passed at all as they walked through the camp, laughing at the occasional camper’s antics. They came up to a small area underneath the massive oak trees by the lake where a few picnic tables were. At the far table, a group of campers were playing Magic, pretty typical for the camp. Damien slid on top of the closest table, gesturing for Shayne to sit next to him.

“Isn’t it crazy that we’re counselors now?” Damien asked as Shayne found his place on the table. 

Shayne laughed. “Yeah. I’m surprised they even let us back after the oobleck water balloon thing with Wes last year.” 

“Oh my God! I know, right? I can’t believe Wes didn’t light our clothes on fire or something, he was so pissed.” His eyes lit up just as much as the sun beating down on them through the trees. Shayne almost couldn’t stand it.

“We were the worst CITs, I don’t even know how we got here.” Shayne agreed. 

“Okay, maybe  _ I _ was the worst, but literally every day Sarah and Ian complimented how great you were doing. I’ve always been the bad one, remember?” 

Shayne rolled his eyes playfully. “Oh yeah, mister ‘I built a bridge for my Eagle Scout project’.”

“Hey!” Damien lightly punched Shayne’s arm. “That doesn’t count. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, sure.” 

Damien shook his head and smiled, looking up at the tree above them. It was as old as the camp itself, with a small wooden plaque underneath explaining its history. Shayne had passed it so many times he barely even noticed it anymore, but every so often he would see a first-time camper reading the words with wide eyes, staring up at the tree in awe. 

“You going to college?” He asked, still looking at the tree. Shayne could almost see the gears in his head turning, he just didn’t know why they were.

“Uh, yeah.” He said, and Damien turned back to face him. Even after so many Shayne was so taken aback every time Damien looked at him like that. His eyes were so soft, intent on taking in everything he had to say. There was only a moment of hesitation before he continued, but it felt like a lifetime.

“University of Virginia. It’s kinda close to home and they’re covering like half of my tuition so…” Damien nodded, a small smile formed on his face.

“That’s great, dude! What are you studying?” 

“I’m going into English, but I don’t know if it’ll stick. I want to see how it plays out.” Shayne leaned back on the hands. “What about you?”

Damien’s smile turned sheepish and his eyes flickered away. “Uh, I wanna go into computer science, I think it’s really neat. And, uh, I’m going to Duke.”

Shayne’s jaw dropped. “Seriously? That’s amazing! Congratulations!” He hugged Damien quickly and pulled away with his hands on his shoulders. 

“Thanks.” Damien said. 

“How did you even get in? What the hell did you get on your SAT?” 

Shayne quickly became self-conscious about having his hands on Damien’s shoulders and took them off. Damien rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Like, uh, 1470? I think? It’s been a while.” 

“Holy shit,” Shayne said. He heard one of the kids from the Magic table gasp at the swear, and he lowered his voice. 

“That’s fucking amazing. I knew you were smart, but not  _ that _ smart.” 

Damien laughed. “Well, normally when you see me I’m using the least amount of brain cells to keep me alive.” 

“Oh yeah, no respectable Duke student would duct tape their counselor’s clothes to the ceiling fan of the cabin.”

“God, that was a good one.” Damien laughed. “We need to do something big this year. Not big enough to get us fired, though.”

“Totally.” Shayne agreed. 

A group of boys Shayne recognized from his cabin ran past in bathing suits and towels, kicking off their sandals and lining up in front of the waterfront check-in. 

“Who’s your co for the session?” Shayne asked. Damien smiled so wide it looked like his whole face was split in half.

“You remember Joven? When we were in Cabin 16?” Shayne let out a guffaw.

“Oh my God, yeah! And we did the thing with the guitars?”

“Exactly!” Damien beamed. “He looked like he wanted to die when I walked in. But we talked a bit and he  _ graciously _ agreed to not walk into the woods and abandon the camp because of me.”

Shayne shook his head. “That’s so great. I’m with David. It’s like they  _ wanted _ our old counselors to kill us.”

Damien feigned a gasp. “Maybe that’s their plan! They hire us and then put us with the counselors we’ve wronged so we don’t make it through the halfway point of the summer. They get rid of us and don’t have to give out two paychecks. Brilliant plan on their part, to be honest.”

“A hundred percent.” Shayne played along. “Sarah probably suggested it and Matt organized the cabins so that by the end of the first week David would have cremated me and Joven would have strangled you, then they can blame it on the camp being haunted or something. I really do commend them for being so thorough.”

They both laughed loudly, enough to scare the kids at the Magic table away. Once the laughter died down, Damien checked his watch. 

“Aw crap, it’s almost time for dinner. I have to get back to the cabin to get my kids.” He stood from the table and stretched, his shirt riding up and revealing part of his stomach. Shayne was suddenly very interested in the ground. 

“We need to plan something to get Wes.” Damien said. Shayne met his eyes again and smiled. 

“Yeah. See you at dinner.” Damien waved and jogged towards the cabins, leaving Shayne alone on the table. He looked up to the oak above him and breathed heavily, silently asking the universe,  _ what am I going to do? _

* * *

“So, who’s your secret buddy?” David whispered suddenly. Shayne hadn’t looked at his watch, but it must have been something like eleven at night. He sat at the tiny desk built into the divider between the camper and counselor sections of the cabin, trying to come up with ideas for his first secret buddy gift. Other counselors had already started to get theirs, and he felt like he was so behind. The thing was, he couldn’t think of anything to give Damien without giving away who he was. The pages of his notebook were full of unorganized notes on his class schedules for the session and when he had lifeguard duty, but the list of ideas he had for his secret buddy gifts only consisted of a number one with nothing next to it.

Shayne turned to see David lying on his bed in his pajamas, looking at his phone and scrolling through some social media app. 

“Isn’t it supposed to be a secret?” Shayne whispered back. He could hear the kids’ snoring, but he didn’t want to risk waking any of them up. They certainly wouldn’t be happy campers then.

David put his phone down on his chest and looked at Shayne, rolling his eyes. “It’s a camp secret buddy thing, it’s not that deep. If you have me, that’s one thing, but I don’t have you, and I’m pretty sure you don’t have me. So if you tell me, I’ll tell you. Deal?”

Shayne shrugged. “Deal.”

David turned over and leaned on his elbow. “So who do you have?”

Shayne hesitated for a second but answered. “Damien.”

David’s face lit up with a smile. “That’s perfect! There must be some god out there because damn, that’s good. You two were made for each other.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shayne asked, far too quickly. He sounded defensive, and David clearly picked up on it.

“Nothing bad. It’s just, you guys are basically attached at the hip. I’m surprised he hasn’t snuck in here to hang out with you yet. I know you guys aren’t scared of sneaking out.”

Shayne furrowed his eyebrows. “You knew about that?”

“The whole camp did,” David said. “You guys weren’t exactly quiet.”

Shayne blinked a few times and shook his head, ignoring the confusion he was feeling. “Okay, who do you have?”

David picked up his phone again. “Mari. I got a bunch of matchboxes so I’m gonna just give her a box with a single match until the last day when I give her a bag of like five hundred of ‘em. I think she’ll like it.”

Shayne hated to admit that as weirdly pyromanic as it was, David’s idea was fun. It would be super obvious that it was him giving her the matches, but Mari also worked in the survival area of the camp and would find a way to use them easily. 

“That’s… actually pretty nice.” Shayne said. He looked down at his list of ‘ideas’ and sighed. “I wish I knew what to give Damien, I’ve got nothing.”

David hummed quietly in response to something on his phone. “Eh, I don’t know man. You like writing, don’t you? Write him a silly poem or something. He likes that shit.”

Shayne opened his mouth to brush off the idea, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized that was his best option at this point. 

“Yeah, that might work. Thanks.” Shayne turned back to the desk and opened a new page of his notebook, quickly scribbling a short limerick about his friend. It was silly, but he knew Damien would like it. He signed it with,  _ xoxo your secret buddy _ . He turned back toward David to show him his work, but he had fallen asleep with his phone on his chest, his mouth partially open as he snored softly. 

Shayne shrugged and stood from the desk, shutting the light off and crawling into his bunk.

* * *

“You need to be a little sneakier than that.” Boze said. The volume of her voice was startling so early in the morning. Shayne whipped around and hid the piece of paper behind his back.

“Who says I’m being sneaky?” He asked. Boze rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, eyeing Shayne knowingly. 

“You’re putting something up for your secret buddy, right? You should probably do it before other people get here.”

Shayne let his arms fall to their resting state and placed the folded up piece of paper on the counter. “I was  _ trying _ to do that, then you came in. Flag hasn’t even started, why are you in here?”

Boze pulled a small box out of the pocket of her flannel, holding it up. “I had the same idea.” 

They smiled at each other and laughed. Shayne turned and pinned the note to the corkboard above the coffee machines, hoping that the boldly written **DAMIEN** on it would draw his attention. Boze put her box in front of the coffee stirrers, a white sticker with Matt’s name printed neatly on top.

Shayne pulled out his mug from the cabinet, the one with the dancing skeleton on it, and started making himself a cup of coffee. Boze let out a low whistle behind him.

“You got Damien?” He turned to her and nodded, trying not to let the look of sympathy she was giving him affect him so early in the morning.

“We gotta talk about this,” She said. “I have third period off, what about you?”

Shayne poured some of the Half & Half into his coffee and softly answered, “Third.”

Boze’s voice perked up. “Okay, meet me in the staff lounge, you and I are having a chat.” She started to walk away, but turned back and shouted, “Don’t even  _ think _ about avoiding me, because you know I’ll find you.”

“Got it!” Shayne called back. He took a sip of his coffee and followed Boze out, recognizing the soft curl of Damien’s hair walking up the stairs of the mess hall. Shayne ripped his eyes away and stood next to David, trying to control their campers as the rest of the cabins lined up for the raising of the flag.

* * *

Shayne was glad the staff lounge wasn’t too far from the equipment shed because he knew if he had to walk across camp he would have passed out. The young campers were incredibly energetic that day and had made him work hard for any semblance of peace during the period. He was thankful he had some time to get himself back together before lunch.

He pulled open the screen door of the staff lounge to see a few of the other counselors sitting around the small TV playing a video game. He didn’t see Boze among them, but when he looked to the other corner of the room he saw her: headphones in and looking completely miserable.

He walked over to her. “You look like you’re having fun.” She pulled an earbud out of her ear and looked up at him.

“What? Wait, I don’t care. Hi.” She stood up, her head just barely reaching above Shayne’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s talk.”

She practically ran out the door, Shayne rushing to catch up with her. She had taken a seat under a tall pine tree that stood beside the aging building. Shayne settled next to her, unsure of what to expect. 

“So…” He started, eyeing the branches above them. “What college are you going to?”

“University of Virginia,” Shayne’s eyes widened and he tried to make a comment, but Boze brushed over the question, even though she must have noticed Shayne’s reaction to her answer. “But as much as I wanna make fun of you for whatever college you got into, I think the fact that the dude you’ve had a crush on for the past three years is now your secret buddy takes some priority.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, you just want to gossip.” He stated. Boze turned up her nose in a ‘what about it?’ way, but held strong.

“That’s a lie. You’re super screwed up about it and you don’t know what to do. Talk to me, I know you, dude. You’re freaking out.”

Shayne sighed. He hated to admit Boze was right, and he wasn’t going to, but he couldn’t keep denying it when she already knew basically everything.

“Yeah…” He confessed. “It’s not super great.”

Boze crossed her arms and leaned against the base of the tree, nodding for him to continue.

“I just... I don’t want it to ruin the whole summer. I don’t want to screw everything up by going too far or being weird around him and then everything’s awkward until we leave and we never talk again. But I can’t just tell him, right? It doesn’t work here. I can’t just try and start a relationship when we’re supposed to be working... right?”

Boze pursed her lips and sighed. Shayne knew she had no real answer to give him, but she spoke with a surprising amount of confidence.

“You don’t have to do it now. You don’t have to do it at all, really. But you should do what  _ you _ think is best. Making yourself a wreck over it won’t help at all.” She placed her hand on his knee and stared him in the face.

“I know how you feel. I know it can feel like you’re suffocating whenever you’re around him, but it’s going to work out somehow.”

Shayne gave her a tight-lipped smile as she took her hand back. She looked at the time on her phone and put an earbud back in, offering the other to him. He took it and scooted back to lean against the tree next to Boze, staring out into the field and letting the heat of summer wash over him.

Boze’s music taste hadn’t changed since he’d met her, but an occasional pop song would completely break the mood that Slipknot and Metallica created. A sudden soft drum beat brought him back to the music, and a mystic voice made his whole body perk up.

_ I’m not wearing my usual lipstick, I thought maybe we would kiss tonight. _

_ Baby will you kiss me already and toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart. _

Shayne felt a tug at his heart when he heard that line. All of a sudden he was back on the dock with Damien at fourteen, looking at his friend smiling in the light of the moon. The same knot formed in his stomach as it did that night, closing up his throat so that he could barely breathe. Damien was so clear in front of him, his hair hanging in his face limply, but his eyes still bright in the dimness of the night. 

His stomach began to twist further, in time with the beat of the song. The thought of Damien slammed against the walls of his chest like a pair of shoes in a washing machine, loud and chaotic, enough to fear that something would get damaged if it continued. 

The song was over so quickly he barely had time to process it. The regularly scheduled program came back as the opening riff of  _ Smells Like Teen Spirit _ played, but Shayne was still reeling from the two minutes of nostalgia in which he had a full-body experience.

“Boze?” He turned to her, and she paused the music. “What was that last song?”

Boze raised an eyebrow. “Washing Machine Heart by Mitski. I thought you’d listened to it before?” 

Shayne shook his head, and Boze shrugged, restarting her music. He quickly pulled out his own phone and entered the song title into his notes app. He needed to listen to that song again.

* * *

Days turned into weeks as Shayne settled into the everyday routine of camp. He’d become close with the oldest campers he taught, answering questions about high school and applying to colleges as well as the CIT program they would be eligible for the next summer. The younger kids had taken to using him as a jungle gym whenever they saw him with his guard down, and he had been consistently making little poems for Damien and leaving them where he would find them around camp.

They weren’t elaborate or well-written by any means, but they were fun to write, and Damien seemed to enjoy them. The times they were able to talk always devolved into theorizing about who their secret buddies were. Shayne had gotten a few gifts so far: a song dedicated to him during lunch, a box of cookies left in the staff lounge, and a copy of  _ To Kill a Mockingbird _ left at his cabin’s table. He had no idea who could be behind the gifts, but the book had been something that was way too specific to not be somebody who knew him pretty well. 

On his day off each week, he had taken to doing his laundry and listening to music, sometimes going into the small town the camp rested in and browsing the stores. There was a small bookstore that was presumably where his secret buddy had bought his most recent gift. He liked sitting in there when he didn’t have to rush back to camp to pull his laundry out of the machine before somebody threw them in to lost and found, reading or writing out poems to give to Damien. Sometimes he would hang out with the other counselors who had the same day off, mostly Boze, and do whatever they wanted to do. 

As he went to the office to grab his schedule for the week from Sarah, he caught Damien just as he was leaving. 

“Hey!” Damien smiled. Shayne returned the gesture, pushing down the fluttering feeling in his stomach.

“Hey.” He said. Damien stopped just outside the door, blocking Shayne’s way of getting in. 

“Check what day you have off this week. I want to hang out with you, I feel like we haven’t in a bit. I’m off Friday night.” 

Shayne nodded. “Okay.” He pushed Damien’s shoulder lightly. “Let me in the freaking office and I’ll tell you.” 

Damien smiled and stepped aside. Sarah didn’t even look up from her paperwork as she handed him his schedule, barely a head nod to acknowledge she knew he was there at all. 

Shayne skimmed his schedule as he pushed open the door to see Damien leaning against the railing of the deck.

His eyes landed on Friday.  _ 4p.m. to 7a.m. - Off.  _

“So…?” Damien asked, the corner of his mouth pulled up into a half-grin.

“I’m off Friday night.” Shayne met his eyes with a smile. Damien’s whole face lit up, and Shayne felt his insides melt.

“Hell yeah! We should go get ice cream. Like,  _ really _ super sugary and covered in toppings ice cream. Oh! We should go to the beach, I went there on my last night off with Mari and Wes, the sunset was awesome.” 

“Definitely,” Shayne said. “As long as you’re paying.” 

Damien rolled his eyes. “ _ Fine.  _ But only for you, because you’re driving, right?”

Shayne couldn’t help the fact that his heart fluttered when Damien said ‘only for you.’ There was a spark of hope that formed in his heart, but he was scared that if he blew on it, it would just burn his face.

Friday came quickly, too quickly. Shayne grabbed a few things from his cabin and threw them into a bag. He saw Damien leaving his own cabin as he started to walk towards the parking lot, and he slowed to allow his friend to catch up with him. They made small talk as they approached his car, Shayne unlocking it and sliding into the driver’s seat.

“So, where’s this ice cream place?” He asked Damien as he buckled his seatbelt. Damien turned to him.

“In the center of town, near the post office, I think. Boze drove last time, I’m not exactly sure.” 

“Helpful.” Shayne muttered as he pulled out of the lot, starting down the dirt road that led to the main street that ran through the town.

When they finally came upon the ice cream place after about fifteen minutes of trying to find it, Damien excitedly flung open the door with a pleasant jingle of bells and ran to the counter, eagerly eyeing the tubs through the window. 

The shop was decorated in the style of early 50’s soda shops, the walls black and white checkers that matched the shoes Damien wore. There were dozens of signs on the walls, a massive neon one with the name of the store written in swooping letters above the chalkboard menu. 

Damien ordered his ice cream and stayed true to his word, the mountain of toppings almost equal to the amount of ice cream he was given. Shayne ordered his go-to: chocolate and coffee with marshmallows on top. They sat in his car and ate it in relative silence, occasionally making a joke that would result in uncontrollable giggles. 

Damien placed his cup down and leaned back in his seat, checking his watch.    
“Do you wanna go to the beach now?” He asked. Shayne nodded, tossing his empty cup to the floor with a mental note to clean it up later. 

A thought crossed his mind and he pulled out his phone while they sat at a stoplight, plugging in the aux cord and opening up his music. “Do you mind if I play music?” He shot a quick look to Damien, who shrugged. 

“Go for it, man.” He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. Shayne felt sweat forming on his palms as he pressed play on the song, dropping his phone in his lap just as the light turned green. The familiar beat of drums grabbed hold of his stomach and twisted, his heart pounding in time with the song. He wanted to stare at Damien, see his reaction, get it through his head that this was how he felt about  _ him _ , but he also wanted to not get into a car crash, so he kept his eyes on the road, as hard as it was. 

_ I thought maybe we would kiss tonight _ . 

That line kept replaying in Shayne’s head as the song ended and his playlist continued. Damien softly sang along to a few of the songs that came up, which certainly didn’t help the fact that Shayne was nearly white-knuckling his steering wheel from how anxious he felt. 

The beach parking lot was surprisingly empty when they pulled in, the only other car parked at the far side of the lot with what appeared to be a couple hundred fishing stickers stuck on the back. Shayne pulled into a spot underneath a pole holding up power lines that would’ve made a great picture if he wasn’t so self-conscious. He turned the car off and unbuckled his seatbelt, Damien already outside the car bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“C’mon! There’s this really cool place to watch the sunset I want to show you.” Shayne jogged to catch up with Damien, who was basically running down the shoreline. In the distance, he saw a stone jetty reaching out to the open ocean. As they got closer, Shayne saw three warning signs about walking on the rocks due to danger and couldn’t help but laugh a little when Damien completely ignored them to scale the rocks. 

He turned back and reached his hand out to Shayne with a smile, pulling him up and gently guiding him along the rocks until they reached the end. 

They stood there for a moment, holding hands and looking out at the ocean. Shayne’s breath was caught in his throat as he was keenly aware of how sweaty his hands must have been, but more so by the fact that he Damien wasn’t letting go of his hand. 

Shayne turned to Damien with a confused smile, but his friend was gazing out into the horizon with his eyes so full he couldn’t even think. Everything about him was so striking in the dimming light, the soft sound of waves against the rocks acting as perfect background noise for a moment Shayne never wanted to leave. 

Damien met his eye and smiled so brightly Shayne feared he would have collapsed on the rocks if his hand wasn’t there to ground him. Damien softly squeezed his hand before letting go, sitting down on the rock and running a hand through his hair.

Shayne followed suit, allowing himself to inch closer to Damien than he would have normally since that spark of hope in his chest had started to grow and smolder.

“I miss when we could just hang out.” Damien said, a hint of wistfulness to his voice. Shayne didn’t say anything but watched him speak, the way his eyebrows moved and his smile wavered.

“I miss you a lot.” His voice was quieter, but it rang in Shayne’s ears like a church bell. “When we’re not a camp, I feel like I barely know you, like you’re not even real. And I  _ know _ you are, but when I can’t see you, I feel like we drift away from each other.” Damien turned to Shayne, something deep in his eyes blowing onto the flame growing in his chest. “I don’t want us to grow apart. You’re my best friend…” 

Shayne couldn’t help but notice the way he hesitated after he said ‘friend’. His hands were already shaking, but now his entire body felt like he had been struck by lightning. 

“You too.” He stammered out. His face felt like it was burning under Damien’s gaze, but he couldn’t bear to look away. Time felt like it had stopped in that moment as they looked at each other. If this had been a movie, they would have leaned in and kissed each other desperately as a way to communicate their feelings they had been holding in for so long. But the moment only lasted for a second, and Damien broke eye contact before Shayne could build up the courage to close the distance between them. 

They sat in silence for a while, watching as the sun lowered over the ocean and the sky turned lavender.

Damien finally broke the silence. “What if we took his table in the mess hall and turned it upside down?”

Shayne let out the breath he was holding in to laugh at Damien’s suggestion. 

“No way, we can’t mess with the kids. It just has to be Wes. How about… we move him into a canoe while he’s sleeping and push him out into the lake, like that Vine?”

Damien laughed but shook his head. “I think we might actually get in trouble if we did that.” He looked up at the sky, thinking. “We could do something weird, like take all the milk cartons and replace the supplies for his classes with them.”

“That’s so fucking stupid.” Shayne cackled, his previous anxiety beginning to melt away. “Let’s do it.”

The night continued with them scheming to harass Wes until he ‘eventually had a mental breakdown and killed them,’ as Damien had put it. The sunset washed Damien in a golden light that made his eyes glow like embers, and Shayne couldn’t help but get lost in them when he spoke so happily about them pranking their friend.

* * *

The summer seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. Campers came and went with the sessions, and Shayne was thrown into cabins with even more counselors whom he had in the past. He ended up as co’s with Damien for one of the one-week sessions, which wracked his nerves almost to the point of confessing everything the night before check-out day. 

It was harder to come up with notes to leave Damien as the summer went out, which led him to eventually ask Boze for advice. On their next day off, he had her take him to a cute store in town to buy some scented candles he thought Damien would like. The next time he saw him, Damien had gushed about how happy he was about his secret buddy’s gifts so far, which made Shayne glow with warmth. 

There was only a week left of camp now, another one-week session to end a summer that had been so fun he almost missed it. He knew he looked so different from how he had started, at least more tan and muscular from playing sports every day for the past two months. Damien had similar changes, but more along the lines of him being a lot more colorful than when he had started. Sarah had convinced him to dye a blue streak in his hair in late July, which made him even more recognizable; not that Shyane couldn’t recognize him from a half-mile away, but still.

It was the night before the start of the next session and with no campers, the counselors were frantically cleaning their cabins and trying to get everything organized before the cabin check the next morning. 

Shayne had finished early with the help of Wes, who was his co for the final session of the summer, much to his dismay. He was still kind of pissed after the milk carton prank Damien and him had pulled, but he put on a good front and didn’t immediately request a switch when he saw that he and Shayne were together. 

Shayne absentmindedly kicked his feet in the water as he sat on the dock, watching the sunset over the line of pine trees in the distance. He could hear the girl’s cabins blasting music as they cleaned, the occasional scream from someone who sounded like Boze pulling him out of his thoughts.

He hadn’t stopped thinking about that night at the beach with Damien since it had happened. They hadn’t spoken about it since, as much as Shayne had wanted to. It never seemed like the right time to bring it up, because Damien was always busy or Shayne had decided to come up with a new idea to prank Wes with. He knew, or at least he hoped, that Damien had wanted to talk about it as well since he had caught him staring at him in their cabin more than a few times. 

He’d imagined how different the night would have gone, how the whole summer would have gone if he had just pushed aside his fear and confessed everything then and there. Maybe they would have become closer as he wanted, and shared stolen kisses in the few moments they were alone. He’d lost himself in his imagination more times than he would have lived to admit, once almost getting hit in the face with a basketball during a game with the oldest campers. 

The sound of someone walking along the dock made Shayne perk up, turning to see Damien smiling down at him.

“Mind if I sit with you?” He asked. Shayne shook his head and watched as Damien sat down beside him. He was covered in sweat from cleaning in the August heat, a loose-fitting tank top hanging off his shoulders. There was a trace of a crappy Sharpie tattoo, probably drawn by Boze, on his arm: a heart with ‘MOM’ written on it.

“I can’t believe there’s only a week left.” Damien sighed. Shayne nodded.

“Yeah. I still have to pack all my shit for school when I go home. And I have  _ nothing  _ ready.”

Damien laughed softly, leaning forward to look down at the water below them.

“Yeah, me too. Move-in day is like, three days after camp ends. I have to go home and then drive all the way back up to North Carolina. I am  _ not _ looking forward to that.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t be either.” Shayne agreed. He looked at Damien, who seemed a lot more reserved than usual. It could have been that he was tired from cleaning up the cabin, but Shayne couldn’t shake the feeling like it was more than that.

“Are you nervous about school at all? I know I am, but at least Boze is going too, and a few of my friends from school. You’re alone…” Damien sighed heavily, looking back at Shayne with sad eyes. 

“You’re right.” He said bluntly. “I am. And I’m excited to go to my dream school, it’s fucking insane that that’s happening. But I just… I don’t want to be alone. I’m doubting if I even want to go if I’m going to be alone.”

Shayne’s heart ached in his chest for Damien. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, squeezing him against his chest,

“You’re gonna do so great there. I know it’s scary, but you’re one of the most amazing people I know. You won’t be alone for long, I’m sure of it.”

When he pulled away, Damien’s eyes were shining with tears. He quickly wiped them away, but Shayne couldn’t help the way his stomach turned when he saw his friend cry.

“Thanks,” Damien whispered. “That means a lot.”

Shayne nodded and let go of Damien, but he caught his hand before he could take it away. A shock went down his spine when Damien looked at him and squeezed his hand gently, his jaw tight as he stared at him with his eyes storming.

“Would it be too much to ask that we could see each other more when we go to school? Duke and UV are only three hours apart as opposed to six, and there’s so much more freedom in college so we would actually maybe be able to hang out-”

“Yes.” Shayne cut him off. “Of course, I would do it in a second.”

Damien breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good. Me too.”

Damien slowly took his hand away from Shayne’s, and he couldn’t help but miss the touch. The sky was lit in orange and blue strokes that made the streak in Damien’s hair almost look purple.

“Hey,” Shayne started, a feeling of bravery building in his chest. “Since we’re almost done with camp… who was your secret buddy?”

Damien laughed a bit and looked confused, but brushed his hand through his hair and answered anyway. “I had Monica, actually. I had no idea what to do for her at first, but I started asking around and sorta figured it out. I still haven’t told her yet, though. I think I’m gonna do it later in the week.” He shrugged. “What about you.” 

Shayne breathed in through his nose and exhaled before he spoke. “Well, funny story…” 

Damien’s eyes lit up. “No  _ way _ ! You had me?” Shayne nodded, a smile growing on his face.

“Dude, I love you!” He threw his arms around Shayne in a tight hug, almost knocking them into the water. Shayne thankfully caught himself and steadied them so they wouldn’t fall, laughing as Damien clung to him.

“I loved everything, you’re the best fucking person in the world.” Damien said into his shoulder. Shayne felt his chest grow warm as he hugged Damien back, smiling so wide his cheeks started to hurt.

“I love you too.” He laughed. The realization of what he had said hit him hard, and he began to get that itching feeling in his chest again. He could spill his guts right now and maybe end up capping off the best summer of his life with something even more incredible. 

Daimen pulled away, positively beaming. “I can’t believe all of that was you, you’re so… awesome.”

Shayne felt his hands begin to shake again, but he tried to ignore it as he spoke. “Thanks. I’m really just glad you liked them. It was really hard not to let the cat out of the bag the whole freaking summer.”

Damien shook his head. “I just can’t get over it. This is nuts, dude.”

“Yeah, kinda.” Shayne took in a shaky breath. “Hey, I want you to know that…” Damien stopped laughing and smiled at Shayne, his eyes wide with interest.

“When I say I love you, I really mean it. You’re an amazing person, and I wish I could let you know that better than I’m doing now.”

Damien drew his eyebrows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… I love you. Like,  _ really _ love you.” Realization washed over Damien’s face, and Shayne’s stomach twisted rapidly. “I have for a while. I just don’t really know how to say it.”

Damien’s eyes were wider than Shayne had ever seen them. “Really?” His voice was barely audible, but everything around them seemed to quiet as he spoke. 

“Really.” Shayne said. His heart was pounding in his chest and he knew he was probably going to have an anxiety attack in the next few minutes, but he couldn’t stop himself now.

“I’ve known for a long time. I didn’t think you would feel the same, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to do, I just bottled up everything and kept it inside. I thought there would always be someone else, someone who you thought of as more than your best friend.”

“Stop.” Damien’s voice was suddenly louder. “Why would there ever be anyone but you?”

“I, uh-” Shayne stammered. He couldn’t formally list all of his anxieties, but he didn’t have to, because Damien continued.

“I felt the same way for a long time. I  _ feel _ the same way. I knew when we met that you were someone special. I want whatever you want, just tell me what it is.”

Shayne’s entire body was pulsating with his heartbeat, but he raised a shaky hand to Damien’s face and touched it gently.

“You.” He whispered. Damien eyed him, flickering his gaze around his face until they landed back on his eyes. He swallowed and let out a shaking breath.

“Me too.”

Shayne leaned in closer to his friend, his face burning and his eyes stinging with tears. When Damien closed the distance between them, he felt his entire body burst into flames, the spark in his chest roaring into a flame that couldn’t possibly be put out now. 


End file.
